69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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