Operation Purity has been aborted
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
