im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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