peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Randomize
