all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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