Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
