He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Enjoy the penises
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
