Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
