You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
