She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
