I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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