All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
