just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
