i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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