my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
