Quick, to the slutcave!
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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