so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
