I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
love makes seman taste better
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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