we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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