I'm lost and stupid without you.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
