But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
