If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
we're chasing vodka with high fives
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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