My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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