Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
