I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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