everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
