Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
