You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
