a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize