Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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