hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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