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Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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