And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I need water and some morals
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
