Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize