She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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