Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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