You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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