This girl is more easily done than said...
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
