I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Randomize