just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
there is another microwave in the elevator.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
