theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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