i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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