It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize