you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
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