Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
