Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize