He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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