Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
