drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
