I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
