she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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