Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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