just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
