is your mom at the bar?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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