Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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