The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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