At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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