I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
