I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Randomize
