Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
