i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
