im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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