she woke up with a sticky ear
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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