It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
