Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
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Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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