we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
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Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
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I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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