you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
