i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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